5.09.2009

Perfect Things.

I love Simon and Garfunkel. They may have the most perfect blend of voices ever. Of course the music and the harmonies are great, but I am talking about the way their specific voices blend together into one perfect sound.

5.07.2009

It's so nice to know there are jackalopes around...

I love Pixar. The animation is amazing, yes, but that is only a minor part of what makes their films so great. The thing that I think places Pixar at the top of the heap is the master story-telling. Sherk is a good movie. It's funny, and has great animation, but it doesn't hold up next to a Pixar film. The story isn't bad, but it isn't great. That is why Pixar's films will endure. They don't rely on funny one-liners, and pop-culture references that people won't get twenty years from now.

Here is what may be my favorite film from Pixar (I have yet to see Cars, or Wall-E).

4.20.2009

Lee Morgan

This cat was smooth. But not smooth enough. His woman shot him dead with his own heater when she caught him with another woman.



A damn shame.

12.13.2008

The Words

of the POETS are written on the subway walls. And pillars.

Lil' sis' words were finally installed.

9.22.2008

Manly Bike

Via Sara comes this Craigslist posting.

Manly Bike for Sale

Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT


Bike for sale


What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".



The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.



The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.



The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.



I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:


Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.


Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".


Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)

9.18.2008

SRV

This one gives me chills every. single. time.

Little Wing - Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble

J. J. Johnson

J. J. Johnson was one of, if not the greatest jazz trombonists. As Dizzy and Bird were pioneering Be Bop, Johnson was one of just a handful of trombonists who were up to the task.



There don't seem to be many older videos of J. J. out there that give a glimpse of his virtuosity, but there are quite a few more melodic performances that do showcase his incredible tone.

9.14.2008

So Strange...

The things that happen when I leave my Macbook Pro unattended...