A Cold Day in Hell

It's starting to get chilly here in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. The official reading when I went to work was somewhere around -11°, but the reading at my house was -12°. To the north Embarrass saw an overnight low of -54°. Talk about tough, check out the accompanying photo to this article.

I usually don't even pass on those e-mails people forward to everyone in their address book, let alone post it here, but considering the recent temps, and what happened on Sunday, here you go:

MINNESOTA TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

60 Above
New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat
People in Minn. plant gardens

50 Above
Californians shiver uncontrollably
People in Minn. sunbathe

40 Above
Italian and English cars won't start
People in Minn. drive with the windows down

32 Above
Distilled water freezes
Lake Mille Lacs water gets thicker

20 Above
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats
People in Minn. throw on a flannel shirt

15 Above
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat
People in Minn. have the last cookout before it gets too cold

Zero
People in Miami all die
Minnesotans lick the flagpole

20 Below
Iowans fly away to Mexico
People in MN get out their winter coats

40 Below
Hollywood disintegrates
The Girl Scouts in MN are selling cookies door to door

60 Below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic
MN Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough

80 Below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes
People in MN rent some videos

100 Below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg

297 Below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products
Cows in MN complain about farmers with cold hands

460 Below
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin Scale)
People in MN start saying "cold nuff for ya?"

500 Below
Hell freezes over
The Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl