But I Know I'm Funnier than Him...

Jaq took the 3 Variable Funny Test, and so did I. We scored about the same which doesn't surprise me (although I would have expected him to score higher on the "Dark").

Here are my results:

the Wit (78% dark, 30% spontaneous, 22% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais AND FINALLY -- after you rate my test with a sweet, sweet '5' -- you must take this test next: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test. It's not mine, but it rocks.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on dark You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous You scored higher than 8% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Where the Hell Have You Been?

Dan posted the other day about lack of sleep and other demands that have left him feeling zapped. I feel ya brother.

Elsa is kicking my ass. I've been going on between three and five hours sleep a night. Divided into two shifts. I am a zombie most of the time. But things are getting better. No more colic, and that is a big deal. This explains my lack of blogging lately. Any free time I have is devoted to getting other things done. Like eating dinner. In addition, during this free time my brain has been far from any condition to create a coherent post.

But, like I said, things are getting a bit better. I have been able to start getting some exercise in again, and that helps.


I have also been spending some time building a poker table, which is ready to make it's debut on Friday August 12. Elsa is at her most content when we are outside, so that has worked out fairly well.

I am also trying to devote more time to brushing up and delving deeper into Final Cut Pro, because, well, the hunt is on.

Test One-Two, Test One-Two...

Well, it seems Jaq has tricked me into posting. He has tagged me to answer a quiz that has been floating around. Granted he did this several days ago (over a week in fact), but hey, at least I am getting to it. And I may be the only one on his list to get to it.

1. Total number of films I own on DVD/video:
67. Although quite a few of them were free from one source or another, and are not ones that I would buy. Dan, would you like Stepmom back?

2. The last film I bought:
The Last DVD I bought was the first season of Millennium. I think the last movie I bought on DVD was Return of the King.

3. The last film I watched:
Last DVD watched: The Office Special. If you haven't watched The Office I command you to do so by the end of this coming weekend. Both series, and the special.
Last film watched Revenge of the Sith.
Last film watched on DVD Attack of the Clones (The Seven Samurai is sitting on the DVD player waiting for a free three-and-a-half hours).

4. Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:
I don't watch many films over and over, but here are a few that I have seen many times.
Star Wars
The Blues Brothers
2001 A Space Odyssey
A Hard Day's Night
Raising Arizona

5. Tag 5 people and have them put this in their journal/blog:
Dan
Pat
Mark
Sean
Amanda (oops, I guess this means you are going to have to start your own blog...)

Sorry Girls, You Can't Take Piss Out of the Pool

I was going to follow up the last post with a post about the absurdity with which our mental giants, Debbie (can I call you Debbie? Too bad) and Julie, reacted after Adam found their post (Amanda points this out in comments), but Jaq did it for me.

Debbie says:

If anyone else has anything to say about what a horrible person I am, please keep it to yourself. I don't need a complete stranger's help to feel bad about myself. If you want to comment, you'll have to register. I don't get anonymity here so neither do you.

Well, I would like to register. Debbie, how do I do that?

Maturity on Display

It appears that there is a student at UW Madison, named Deborah, who finds pleasure in making fun of two-year-olds. Specifically my niece Hazel. Deborah seems to have removed the web page in question (after finding out that my brother stumbled across it), but you can see the page here thanks to Google's cache (scroll down until you see the Sims picture of a woman and a baby, and "Jennifer Green-Johnson" highlighted).

Deborah, I don't know what problems you have, but if this (assumed) sub-rosa derision of a sweet little girl has brought you pleasure, I pity you. You are pathetic. My beautiful two-year-old niece shows more maturity and compassion than you.

Lay Them Straight...

Also in the past four weeks Jaq has posted chapters Seven and Eight from The Promised King.

More Pictures

Elsa with cousin Hazel.


Staring at Mom.


There has been a high percentage of pregnancies at the Children's Yamaha Music School recently. Three out of thirteen teachers have brand new kids, with a fourth one on the way.


Chillin' with the other chilens.

Four Weeks Later

It has been four weeks since Elsa was born, so I suppose it is time for some new pictures and an update. In that time we have seen: cluster feedings (which is nothing compared with what has become part of daily life for some); screams that break your heart; the appearance of a normal belly-button; severe diaper rash caused by diarrhea; many visitors; gifts of food, clothing and other cuteness; many, many diapers.


But mostly we have had four weeks of joy at the hands of really well tempered little girl who really digs on Art Blakey.


We know she gets her good looks from me, so liking drummers must come from Mom.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you...

Elsa Ann Wentzel Johnson.

Born 2:46 AM, March 28.


7 pounds 14 ounces, 20 3/4 inches.


Krista and Elsa are well (but tired). Just the vital info for now, I'll post more later about the LONG weekend.

Stay Tuned!

Expect a major announcement sometime this weekend.

Pick Up Sticks...

It seems like I just posted a reminder to check out Chapter Five of Jaquandor's The Promised King, and already Chapter Six is ready to go. It also seems that every other post of mine is becoming a link to The Promised King. But I have to. If I didn't, a couple of hamsters and a kitten would face mortal peril.

It's Been So Long, I Was Beginning to Think it Would Never Happen...

No, not that.

The other day, as I was picking up my boots, I caught a glimpse of sunlight from the inside of my right Dr. Marten. After nine years of nearly daily wear, four sets of inserts (Docs only come in whole sizes), and too many shoelaces to count (well, not really, I just didn't count), the outside heel has worn through.


A sad day to be sure. I am now faced with the daunting task of finding just the right pair to serve me for the next nine years.


Although... the hole isn't that big, and I think we are in the clear as far as snowfall goes...

Have You Seen?

Jaq has posted Chapter Five of his novel The Promised King. Even if the link at the top of his sidebar indicates that the most recent posting was Chapter Four...

Oh, and remember to check out Diary of an Attic.

About Time!

No, not that. You can finally purchase 44's Free Land Wall at the iTunes Music Store.

For the uninitiated, 44 was a music project that Krista and I were involved with for about five years. You can read more about it here. But what you need to know now is that you have a very easy way of purchasing our one and only album. Not only is Free Land Wall available from iTunes, but also from Napster, Rhapsody, and a whole host of other online services. Check your favorite source to see if we are available. Or, for those of you who prefer to hold the jewel case in your sweaty little hands, smearing you fingerprints all over the liner notes and photos of the band (which is my choice), you can buy a copy of the actual Compact Disk at CD Baby. Another advantage to purchasing the CD is that you get the hidden tracks that are not available online. Oh, did I mention the price is a paltry $5? So get out your Credit Cards point your browser to your preferred purchase point, and buy! Hell, buy the CD AND the digital downloads. We'll thank you twice.

After Months of Anticipation, The Day Has Come

It has arrived!

Today I awoke from my nap on the couch to Krista handing me a small bundle of joy. No, not that.

Today the FedEx Man, not the stork, made a delivery. My (almost) free 40GB iPod is here, charging it's controversial battery as I type this. In all I spent about $25 on the different offers (plus another $30 for one of those Entertainment coupon books, but I don't count that since we have saved nearly that much using it's coupons for things we buy anyway), and about three-and-a-half hours signing up, canceling memberships and calling the company pestering them for information. It was a bit of a pain, and if you decide to go the route I chose, I think you will get best results by calling the company every couple of weeks.


But hey, a $400 iPod for a little over three hours work, not too shabby.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

No, not that... I made some changes to Diary of an Attic. It will now only show posts made on the most recent day. I have also adjusted the archives menu to display single dates. Because of the photo-intensive nature of the blog this should make easier loading for those with slow connections.

Reminders

Jaquandor (aka The Buffalo Blogger, aka Kelly Sedinger, aka the author of The Promised King who is publishing said novel online) reminds us that Chapter Four of The Promised King is up.

I am reminding you to check out Diary of an Attic. Lately we (I) have only been posting about once a week, but there is a new post, and we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Any Day...

Despite Krista's claim that she could "go any day now," I have instructed my progeny to hold off until the prescribed due-date. If the child shows early signs of insolence by arriving early I shall have to reconsider including him/her in my plot for world domination.

Chapter Three, and Bombs Away

Jaquandor, that Buffalo Blogger, aka Kelly Sedinger has just published Chapter Three of his novel The Promised King. Kelly Sedinger also laments The Promised King's low ranking on Google. So I am going to do My part to help Kelly Sedinger's online novel, The Promised King, achieve a higher spot in Google searches for online novels, The Promised King, and Kelly Sedinger. If you have a blog please consider doing the same to promote The Promised King, Kelly Sedinger's novel, otherwise Kelly Sedinger might get pissy.

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No Respect

I saw this on the wires today, this was the only web link I could find.

After the death of Johnny Carson, the publicist for Rodney Dangerfield got a call from a CNN flunky asking whether Rodney would be available to speak on the death of Carson. The publicist said yes, but only if CNN has a satellite hookup to heaven.

Area Racist Victim of Racism

This is too funny.

iUpdate

Just a quick update on my efforts to obtain a (nearly) free iPod. My stays on the emarketresearchgroup web site has not changed to show that they have received my voucher, so I called and left another message on Wednesday night. Thursday morning they called back and told Krista that they have received the voucher, but they have been running low on supplies of iPods. They assured her that I should receive it in about two weeks. I have been ripping our CD library in anticipation. If When it arrives I will try for another free item. Maybe a laptop, or a Mac Mini if they are available.

Stuff

Jaquandor has the second chapter up for The Promised King.

Jaq also had a column published in The Buffalo News. In it he details the emotions and the feelings of helplessness surrounding the birth of his son Quinn.

Also remember to check out Diary of an Attic. Not much has happened the past couple of days, but you knew that because you are checking it at least twice a day, right?

A Cold Day in Hell

It's starting to get chilly here in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. The official reading when I went to work was somewhere around -11°, but the reading at my house was -12°. To the north Embarrass saw an overnight low of -54°. Talk about tough, check out the accompanying photo to this article.

I usually don't even pass on those e-mails people forward to everyone in their address book, let alone post it here, but considering the recent temps, and what happened on Sunday, here you go:

MINNESOTA TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

60 Above
New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat
People in Minn. plant gardens

50 Above
Californians shiver uncontrollably
People in Minn. sunbathe

40 Above
Italian and English cars won't start
People in Minn. drive with the windows down

32 Above
Distilled water freezes
Lake Mille Lacs water gets thicker

20 Above
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats
People in Minn. throw on a flannel shirt

15 Above
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat
People in Minn. have the last cookout before it gets too cold

Zero
People in Miami all die
Minnesotans lick the flagpole

20 Below
Iowans fly away to Mexico
People in MN get out their winter coats

40 Below
Hollywood disintegrates
The Girl Scouts in MN are selling cookies door to door

60 Below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic
MN Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough

80 Below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes
People in MN rent some videos

100 Below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg

297 Below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products
Cows in MN complain about farmers with cold hands

460 Below
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin Scale)
People in MN start saying "cold nuff for ya?"

500 Below
Hell freezes over
The Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl

The Most Ass-Kickinsist Ass Kickers Who Ever Kicked Ass in the Most Ass-Kickinist of Ways

Murphy and I took in a show last night at Triple Rock Social Club. The Ashtray Hearts were first up, and they were great as always in their melancholy, we'll-bring-you-down-gently way. Next up was Robert Skoro. He much too into himself for me. At one point he mentioned how great it was to "be here at the Triple Rock here in Minneapolis," and how great the crowd was, especially for Minneapolis, and how the crowds "never seem into the shows when we play in the Twin Cities." I assumed he was from out of town, but looking at his website I see he is from the Twin Cities. The music wasn't that good either. He saved the best song for last, and it was pretty mediocre. Last up was Kid Dakota. This was the second time I have seen the Kid, and I was wowed once again. For a two piece (hell, for a ten piece) they really, as you might infer from the title of this post, kick some serious ass. Their recordings are great, but both times I have seen them live they have brought their a-game, and then some. Check 'em out, along with The Ashtray Hearts.

Shawn called while Skoro was on, and he and Lee joined us as Kid Dakota was taking the stage. We then went for some post-show nourishment, at Denny's. And yes Amanda we ended up at Denny's intentionally.

Diary of an Attic

As Jaq points out I am generating way too much content for a single blog. To remedy the situation, I have created a new blog dedicated to the work that is going on in our attic. I will try to update it daily, except on days that nothing is going on. Krista has also joined Blogger so she can post when she feels the urge. One note, it is going to be image intensive.

I Shall Call Him Mini Mac

Remember the super-cool G4 Cube? Well, Jobs and co. are at it again, but this time they made it affordable.

Also unveiled at Macworld Expo was the iPod Shuffle. A flash-based iPod that starts at $99 for those who want to join the party but not shell out the big bucks (or jump through the hoops).

The Great iPod Plot

I'm sure you all have seen those banner ads, or deleted pesky spam promising a free iPod, flat-screen, laptop or some other product. Well, I was so tempted by the thought of carrying my entire CD collection with me ensconced in a tiny stylish bit of technology that I thought I would at least check it out.

One of the companies who plaster those banners all over the web is FreeiPods.com. With just a small bit of research I learned that this is indeed a legit company. FreeiPods.com gives out 20GB iPods and iPod Minis. They way they are set up is a bit like a pyramid scheme. You complete one of their sponsor offers (such as joining Columbia House or something of that nature) and convince some of your friends to do the same. Once a certain number of your friends complete their offers you get your iPod. They in turn convince a new batch of friends to go along. I considered this, but I didn't feel right asking friends to sign up so I could get a free iPod.

Another company, that has many different names (it was called emarketresearchgroup.com when I started), takes a different approach. You are responsible for completing all of the offers yourself, and they offer the 40GB iPod. I was much more comfortable with this scenario, so I thought I would look a little deeper.

To gauge how likely it was that this place was legit I checked on who some of the sponsors were. Sponsors included the likes of Blockbuster and AOL. Evil? Yes. Associate with scammers in order to generate customers? Maybe, but not likely. Most of the offers they listed as examples also seemed to be free trial offers, so while not completely convinced, I decided the risk was worth the potential payoff.

Not wanting a deluge of spam in my nearly spam-free inbox, I set up a new e-mail account specifically for this experiment. For my free 40GB iPod ($399 retail) I would need to complete six sponsor offers. The offers were listed on three different pages, and I would have to complete two from each page. On the first page I chose two offers that would cost me a buck each. Each was a one-day trial that would renew at $40 a month if not cancelled. Since I was not interested in information on government auctions or how I could get a free car by having ads plastered all over it, I promptly cancelled when they showed up as completed about an hour after I signed up. On page two I signed up for a free two-week trial of Blockbuster Online, and a free month of Rhapsody music service. Now on to page three. Most of the offers cost quite a bit. "So that's how it works." I thought to myself. I scanned the offers looking for two that would keep my cost under the $60 limit I set for myself going in. I found one for a Discover Card, the only requirement was to activate the card and make one purchase. I could handle that. The only other offer that was remotely palatable was a free one-week trial to eharmony.com. So, with permission from Krista, I was back in the dating scene.

All of the offers soon showed up as completed on the emarketresearchgroup website except for Blockbuster and Rhapsody. I called Blockbuster, and soon had that taken care of, but with Rhapsody it appeared to be impossible to talk to an actual person. I cancelled Rhapsody and went back to the sponsor offers page two to find something else. I settled on the Entertainment Book of coupons to local merchants. The coupons to places we frequent will more than make up for the $30 I paid for the book.

My status was now updated to show that I had completed all of the required sponsor offers. I made screen shots of the web pages, just in case. My next step was to print my voucher, fill it out, and mail it in. Done, done and done. I even used certified mail just to be sure. According to the USPS website my voucher arrived on December 18. I gave it two weeks, but my status had not updated to show that they had received the voucher, so I gave them a call. There was no option to talk to someone, but I was able to leave a voicemail. My hopes were beginning to fade. Chin up! The next day I received a call back and was told that they are behind in processing the vouchers, so while mine may have arrived, it could take up to three weeks to process. One week later still no update on the website, so I placed another call. Again, my call was returned the next day and I was assured that they had indeed received my voucher and an order would soon be on its way to their fulfillment center.

I'm feeling good about my chances of getting the iPod, but time will tell. All said and done, I would estimate that I spent about three hours working for it, and about $25 (not including the Entertainment Book which will pay for itself).

A side note about the eharmony.com trial. While signing up I realized that I was actually giving thoughtful responses to the questions used to generate the matches. I decided that since I was signing up to get a free iPod, not dates, that I would speed up the process by clicking random radio buttons for my answers. Then I decided that I would have some fun and choose the least desirable answers. Such as answering "1" for "I think it is important to listen to my partner. 1 being not important, and 10 being very important." After answering many of these in this manner I was presented with five matches upon completing the process. Maybe there really is someone for everyone.

Writer's Cramp

Jaquandor explains his preferred method of composition, and it makes my hand hurt just thinking about it. 150,000 - 200,000 words, and no page numbers? That's asking for trouble if you ask me.

He is however bringing The Promised King, into the modern era by publishing it online in blog format. He has one chapter up so far, and will be adding chapters every couple of weeks. Spread the word.

Fahv-Ray

Who needs Daunte Culpepper when you've got Brett Favre? I expected the game to be close, but I was confident that the Vikes would pull it off. I even made a little cash on the outcome. Now for Philadelphia. I bet they can do it. Any takers? Hmmm, on second thought... OK, maybe a buck.

Oh, and while we are on the subject, is there such a lack of things by which to be disgusted that we have to act as though we are repulsed by Randy Moss faux-mooning a bunch of cheese-heads? For the record, Moss walking off the field last week didn't bother me that much either.

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year

Well, at least I hope they were. We've been a bit busy lately. We were out of town two weekends in a row for the holidays. We also spent this past weekend taking care of some last minute decisions regarding our attic, and those still aren't finalized.

The holidays were good, had fun with family and gave and received some great gifts. I got a number of great gifts, including the first two seasons of Northern Exposure, Tenacious D: The Complete Masterworks, a nice set of poker chips, and a nice deck of cards. Krista and I both got a number of gift cards, every one very useful.

Several of those gift cards were to Home Depot, which is handy considering that work is set to begin this afternoon on our attic. The preparations for this project have taken most of our free time lately. We managed to get rid of quite a bit of what was in the attic, and everything else managed to fit in the basement without impeding movement down there too much. We have a couple more things to pick out, but I expect that we will have most everything finalized within a week. So the construction will likely be finished just as the Parasite outgrows it's host. I expect that I will never sleep again.

List Meme-ia

Jaquandor picks up on one meme, and starts another. In both the object is to take the list, remove those whose efforts do not grace your shelves, and bring the list up to ten by adding some more that do. My additions are in bold.

First the authors:

William Shakespeare
Stephen King
J.R.R. Tolkien
Christopher Moore
Kurt Vonnegut
Jack Kerouac
Philip Pullman
Elmore Leonard
Douglas Adams
Robert Pirsig

And Jaq's twist, CDs:

Pink Floyd
John Williams
Van Morrison
Johnny Cash
Ralph Vaughan Williams
The Beatles
Bjork
Beck
Miles Davis
Bela Bartok

Zack and the Sack

Ouch. Just one more reason not to run 'round town without your trousers.

Linking the Links

Jaquandor links a page of geography quizzes. I did pretty well with the intermediate Place The State quiz (92% correct with an average error of 10 miles), but the hard version is a bitch (78% with an average error of 26 miles). I will curious to see how the resident geographer 'round these parts does.

Sean links a list of the Top 100 Overlooked Films of the 1990s. There were quite a few on the list that I love. I didn't realize so many were overlooked. At least they weren't by me. Here are my recommendations from the list:

Waiting for Guffman
Babe: Pig in the City
Dead Man
Searching for Bobby Fischer
Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai
Dead Again
Sneakers
In the Company of Men
The Red Violin
Welcome to the Dollhouse
Hard Eight
Richard III
A Bronx Tale
A Perfect World
Before Sunrise
Bob Roberts
The Ref
Smoke
Bottle Rocket
Kundun
Big Night
Living in Oblivion
Glengarry Glen Ross
Mystery Men

There are others on the list that I have yet to see, and maybe a few that may get on the ever growing Netflix queue because of the list, but were so many of these that overlooked?

Bloody Vikings!

Blech. Should I be consoled in the fact that the Bears didn't so much win the game as the Vikings lost? That the Vikings are a much more capable team than the one I saw yesterday? That, much like in any game versus the Packers, all bets are off in a game with the Bears?

The best consolation was the Packers game.

You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

More inbox wackiness.

in insufficient spa so wrath have

home lay across a stream into which his Ass, making a false step, mountains is hidden an ancient Clerical Spell, and travel through the Plane of battle. "Forbear," said the Miller to him, "harping on what was USE allows you to try to use the spell..."

That was all that was in the auto preview. I was very tempted to open it and read further.

An Oliopolis Terror Tale
or
The Return of the Curse of the Camden Creature's Ghost

I have been meaning to get this taken care of for a while now, better late than never I guess. Notice the addition of Oliopolis to the blog roll. Not to be confused with Oliopolis under the music links. Maybe Dan can suggest a way to differentiate the two in my sidebar.

In checking out the goings-on in the world of Dan be sure to note the latest appearance of Dan's unearthly tenant. Find my thoughts in the comments.

Didn't I read About This in Revelation?

I just heard Coltrane on my TV monitor. Surprised I looked up, only to realize it was being used in a K Mart commercial. Sinners repent.

Double Entendre

Spam just arrived in my inbox with this subject:

Meat your s0ulmate

Do you think this is simply an attempt to dodge spam filters, an intentional play on words, or simply poor spelling?

The rest of the message just confuses me:

fear kane adulthood congestive stuart cozy corbett screwworm proserpine hereunder locate yourself a becoming babe

One Last Ride

Well, with a high of 45 degrees yesterday I decided that it was time to get the motorcycles ready for winter. So I took them both out for one last ride, filled and added Sea Foam to the tanks, drained the carbs, and today I will prop them up in the back of the garage and count the days till March (while I am also counting the days till March).

Despite the chill, it was nice to get in a longer ride than I have been getting just commuting. But, it also filled me with the desire to just hit the road. Keeping my wanderlust suppressed was also not helped by this (linked by Scott a few weeks ago, and just noticed by me yesterday). There are some great stories and photos from this guy's cross country trip. I liked the numbers from his journal:

30 days
9,910 miles
221 gallons of gas
2 rear tires
1 front tire
1 big scary bear

While not as ambitious as Emilio Scotto's ten year ride twice around the globe on his 1980 Gold Wing, or even Obi Wan's Ewan's Long Way Round, it is still a big trip, and I cannot think of a better way to see the country. I'm thinking pack the bike, bring some Kerouac to read, head northwest out of Minneapolis and follow Pirsig. Hmmmm, I wonder if my brother ever figured out a way to attach a child seat to the handlebars... Er, I guess it may have to wait a couple of years. I'd need a better saddle for a long trip anyway. What I would love to do though is this. The lower 48 I could solo, but for Alaska, some support might be nice.

Damn, is it spring yet?

Expansion...

There has been a bit of it since this was taken.

This was taken last week.


And this was on November 1.

Pines?

I think I know what what the person who performed this search was looking for, and I am pretty sure it wasn't found here.

Come and Get Your Meat...

A while back I worked on a documentary short about meat raffles with M. A. Rosko, Jon Murphy and Paul Dame. Today M.A. called to tell me that it will be airing on Twin Cities Public Television as part of a presentation of several shorts. It will first air this Sunday, November 14 at 11:00 p.m. on TPT 2, and next Saturday, November 20 at 10:00 p.m. on TPT 17

This is by no means an exhaustive look into the phenomenon, or why people are compelled to gamble for meat, but more a slice of life. But it is a fun look into what goes on in the bars of Nordeast Minneapolis, and VFW and Legion halls of out-state Minnesota. My role was small (I shot some footage that never made it in due to me not getting the footage to M.A. as she was writing it, and I helped M.A. edit) but my name is in the credits (with a typo?), so set your VCRs (or TiVo).

Rollin' With My Homies...

My man MC of Hammers Mark was in town this weekend, and we were able to hang out for a few hours on Friday night. We grabbed some grub then hit the patio for a fire and talk. Many topics were discussed, but few of the threads of conversation were seen all the way through. Mark and I both seem quite capable of striking off on tangents, never to return to the starting point. Oh well, it makes thinks more interesting, I think.

Even though we haven't seen each other for four or five years (and that was just a few moments at a Wartburg homecoming; let's keep the next span a bit shorter with a Twins game eh?)Friday seemed less like catching up than just getting together. A great thing, this internet...

Dude, WTF!?!

So, for Halloween I take it the Vikings decided to show up in Buffalo as the Bills (I'm sorry, the ShiBills), and the Bills in Minneapolis as the Vikings? As has been the case in the past when the Vikings are playing poorly, it looked as if they realized about four minutes into the fourth quarter that the game had begun. I hope this does not portend a repeat of last year's season, and I don't think it will. Daunte seems better able to shake it off and move on than he has in the past, and hopefully he will bring the others with him. And despite allowing 34 points the defense seems to be generally improving, and is without a doubt better than last year.

iPod, u(2)Pod...

With the release of the U2 Special Edition iPod, some are wondering what some of the rejected special edition iPods were. Method shop lists a few. Considering my OS preference (obsession?), as well as what my Win-Tel box at work did to me several times when I really needed it to cooperate, I quite liked the iMSFT edition. And if you've seen this, or this, you might enjoy the Steve Ballmer iPod.

Dateline Miami...

Florida on November 2?

(link via Matt)

As Soon as You're Born You Start Dying,
So You Might as Well Have a Good Time...

And a good time was indeed had. I caught CAKE at First Ave. last night and they were excellent. It was a high energy, amazingly tight, all around great show. If you like CAKE's music you have no excuse not to catch a show if you have the chance.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Please Direct Your Attention to the Jumbotron...

Well, if you happen to be at the Vikings game on Sunday you may catch some of my handiwork. Watch for a 30 second spot promoting the Pride Fridays Ticket Giveaway. It is set to U2's new single "Vertigo," and features clips of last years winners with Rusty, as well as Vikings highlights.

This represents the more enjoyable aspect of my job; I get to be creative. And this promo is unique in that I was completely on my own to produce it. I was told what was wanted, and that was it. I usually am granted quite a bit of latitude with Rusty (I usually get a script that serves as an outline, but am free to tweak it), but this time it was me and me alone, so that was kind of fun. It is also kind of cool that it is not only on our air, but will be featured at the Dome.

Mac Tat

So I am a total geek for thinking that this tattoo is hot?

You Look Like a Monkey, and You Smell Like One Too.

Happy Birthday to Jaq, who turns 33 today. I don't think I can wait until my birthday rolls around again to get what his wife gave him (get your minds out of the gutter), so I may just have to make the purchase myself.

I'd Rather Play a Tele Than Watch the Telly...

What guitar are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Like my man Mark who it turns out is an SG, but has never owned one, I have never owned a Telecaster. But have kinda wanted one for a while. I can't justify buying one, but maybe someday. As it turns out my first guitar was almost bought from Mark (I think it was a Yamaha acoustic), but that wasn't to be. I still own my first guitar, a Seagull s6, and imagine I always will. The next guitar was an Epiphone Les Paul LP100 (black, not any of the current finishes). It was a decent guitar for the price (I got a REALLY good deal on it), and when you consider that I sold it for about $20 less than I paid, well, that may be the best value I have ever gotten on anything. Next came the Epiphone El Diablo, which I still own. It really sounds pretty good through a PA, but I don't make much use of it lately. When I sold the LP100 I bought my current electric, an Epiphone Sheraton II.

If you peruse Mark's list of his current guitars, you will see that he owns one as well.

I also own a Mexican Fender Fretless Jazz Bass, and a Fluke Ukulele.

I Hope He Wasn't Wearing a Helmet and Armor...

This jackass seems to have set the record for the biggest speeding ticket in the state of Minnesota. He was pulled over Saturday on Highway 61 near Wabasha, which is a great motorcycle road, after being clocked at 205mph. He was riding a Honda liter-bike. I am doubtful that Tilley had the skills necessary to even exceed 75mph, let alone 205. Even if he did, there are other factors beyond the control of the motorcyclist. Wildlife, other drives, road hazards and other unexpected obstacles can pop up before you can react at that speed. What makes Highway 61 a great motorcycling road (apart form the wonderful views of the Mississippi) is that it is twisty and hilly. At 205mph Tilley was without a doubt out running his line of sight. Even a stationary obstacle becomes nearly unavoidable when you only have a couple of seconds to react.

I was actually on the other side of the river on Saturday and the small towns were packed with your prototypical "bikers." These are the people who are more interested in parking their bikes for people to look, and letting loose with the obscenely loud rumble of their pipes. Which is fine with me. It isn't my thing, but hey, if they want to spend thousands of dollars on their bikes just for curb candy who am I? What does annoy me is that when they do hit the road, very few of them wear helmets, and they occupy the other end of the speed continuum from Mr. Tilley. Especially in the turns, which is, as I said, what makes riding along the Mississippi great.

I think it was George Carlin that said "Anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron."

Here are a few links to follow for safe motorcycling.

Motorcycle Safety Foundation
Motorcycle Cruiser's Street Survival columns
Minnesota Motorcycle and Motorized Bicycle Manual

Speaking of biking...

Last Sunday was the St. Paul Classic Bike Tour. 30 miles of (mostly) traffic-free biking. As always it was a good time.



Left to right: Kristen, Jon, your's truly, Lee, Shawn, Tim, my sister Amanda, and the pregnant woman who lives with me.

Suicidal Squirrels

While biking the past couple of weeks or so, I've noticed that the squirrels around here have gone nuts! Sorry about that... Anyway, usually I don't have to worry too much about them running across my path, but it seems that lately they have all decided that they should at all costs try and get under my front tire. What's the deal? Are they all so preoccupied with the collective task of storing food that they aren't noticing me until the last second? Hitting a squirrel at 20+ mph is not something I want to experience...

Class Arachnida, Order Araneae

Krista isn't too fond on our new tenant, but I kind of like him (her?).
It was a windy day when I took these, so this next one is a little blurry.



Can anyone identify what kind of spider this is?

A Leap of Leopards

A while back Sean linked to a list of collective terms for animals. Well, he's at it again with this list. There are some on the new list that aren't on the first, and vise-versa, but this new list seems to be more authoritative.

Free Fallin'...

Well there goes three years and a quarter billion dollars. The Genesis probe slammed into the Utah desert after its parachute failed to deploy. There may be some hope of recovering something from the probe, but from the pictures I saw this morning it doesn't look good for a piece of equipment that was intended to be caught mid-air and gently set down on terra firma.

I Used Additions, and Subtractions...

OK, no subtractions, but to your left you will see some additions to the Blogroll, and other links.

First off in the Blogroll are two Blogs that I should have linked a while back. They are both group Blogs who's contributors include Dan of 44 fame, Mighty Tom (who's true identity is a secret, but I have my suspicions that he may also once been in a band called 44) Pat Mixdorf, and T-Clog. The first is Social Conscience (I think, although it may actually be "Social Concscience," Dan?), where they "talk about philosophy and politics." Based on past experiences I expect that I will agree with the ruminations somewhere between 50-60% of the time. The second is the Headlines Coalescence. Described by Dan as "...a lark effort we've had going through email for a couple of years-a way to keep creative juices flowing while mocking the low standard of journalism that is prevalent online. We skim over Google or Yahoo! headlines, pulling out a select few (7 per effort, these days), and making (hopefully) funny follow-up headlines. Usually something we churn out in 10 minutes or so over lunch..."

Under the music links you will find The Oliopolis. It is a site that Dan has created devoted to his various musical ventures. I think it is still "under construction," but maybe my linking it will prompt Mr. Hylton to get his ass in gear.

I Couldn't Have Been Wetter If I Had Ridden Through Lake Nokomis...

When you are riding your bike, it is eight miles to home, and it starts pouring, what are you going to do? Get Wet.

Lunacy!

Check out the astronomy picture of the day for a too-cool time-lapse animation of a complete lunation (full lunar cycle). Just last night I was marveling at the waxing-so-very-near-full Moon through binoculars, and once again had my mind blown by the fact that men have stood on its surface. It was incredibly bright last night, and it took a couple of seconds for my eyes to adjust to the point that I was able to make out the Lunar landmarks. It is raining tonight, so the full Moon is obscured, but if you have clear skies, go look at the Moon. It is good for you.

Also, have you noticed Venus burning like a laser? Last week I saw it cut through fog that obscured the lights of Downtown Minneapolis on my way to work, and it freaked me out for a minute.

preggers

Speaking of Pending Arrivals...

In my last post, I congratulated Jaq on the pending arrival of "Kid Number Two." Well...

It may not look like much now, but come March, watch out!

The Nerve! Oh, and Congratulations.

It seems that Jaquandor has decided to take a bit of a break from posting regularly to Byzantium's Shores. I would never leave you, my adoring hordes of readers, wanting. But I suppose his reasons are good enough. Now that he has mentioned it at least three times, I suppose that it is about time that I get with the program and offer my congratulations on the pending arrival of "Kid Number Two." Best wishes to you and Deb!

Mad Props and Much Love...

To Murphy, Shawn, and the 'Rents for the help demolishing and removing the old fence, and putting up the new one.

We finished it this afternoon, and it feels great to actually have a project finished. Next up, the garage, the kitchen, the entry, the bathroom, the attic, the bedroom...

A Month? That's Funny, doesn't seem more than 31 Days...

Well, I've been quite busy lately, quite a bit of overtime at work, some projects around the house, trying to become more proficient at Final Cut Pro, and it seems like so many other things. That is the explanation for that bit of dead air. That and I haven't had much to say, and when I have had a bit of free time, I have spent it pedaling around the lakes. But things may pick up around here again. But I am not promising anything, that is the rule here.

I Could Really Go For A Double Bread With Meat

Thank you Kim Jong Il. I wonder when we might start seeing 'em here.

The Return of Starship Stacy and the Vector Kings

We will be playing Friday July 9th, again at Camden Coffee Company, from 7-9pm. We will be performing songs from Daniel Guitarra's (God rest his soul) "Here lies Daniel Guitarra" CD. It's free, so come on out.

Some quick linkage from Space-Dot-Com

Cassini has started sending back snapshots. More here.

Going up...

Super-Super Massive.

Bit and Pieces

Here I am, once again, following up on one of Sean's posts nearly a week later. He linked to THE 50 COOLEST SONG PARTS. For what it's worth, here are some of my thoughts. Rather than commenting on each entry, I am listing the ones I like, and offering a few of my own. The ones I offer are just a few of many, many that I love, and I am not sure I could choose a top 50. The ones I offer are just the ones that came to me off the top of my head, and are not necessarily even my favorites.

From the list:

#45 "Blister in the Sun"
#43 "Let's Go Crazy" Yes, the Purple One can play.
#38 "All Night Long" OK, I admit it.
#37 "Flash Gordon"
#36 "You Can Call Me Al"
#34 "La Bamba"
#25 "Purple Haze"
#19 "Baba O Riley"
#16 "One Step Beyond"
#11 "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"
#6 "Immigrant Song" and you gotta love the Viking Kittens
#4 "Bohemian Rhapsody"
#5 "A Boy Named Sue"

And I'll throw #9 "Hot for Teacher" in for purely nostalgic reasons. Ask Jaquandor if you want more details.

#31 "Come Together" is good, but from Abbey Road I would rather see "The End" with Paul, George and John trading two bar guitar solos. Also from Abbey Road, The guitar, bass, drum and cricket intro to "Sun King."

Others:

Another Beatles- Ringo never gets props he deserves. His drumming on "She Said She Said" is brilliant.

The Beatles- I could list Beatle songs forever, so this is the last one. Lennon's scream on "Revolution."

Tori Amos- "Spark" The middle bit:
"How many fates turn around in the overtime
Ballerinas that have fins that you'll never find
You thought that you were the bomb, yeah, well so did I."
Especially the piano.

Björk- Anything she sings

I agree with Sean on "Hey Ya."

Weezer- "Say it ain't So" Cuomo sings "Flip on the telly, wrestle with Jimmy."

Elvis Costello- "Allison, I know this world is killing you. Oh Allison, my aim is true."

Beck- The organ at the beginning of "Where it's at."

George Harrison- Intro to "Wah-Wah."

Dave Matthews Band- The chorus to "Satellite."

Sublime- Jon Blondell's trombone on "Wrong Way."

Paul Simon- The drums on "Obvious Child, " but I love the whole song. Listen to it and not feel better, I dare you.

Title?

What book are you?

You're Cat's Cradle!

by Kurt Vonnegut

You believe quite firmly that free will deserted you long ago and far
away. As a result, it's hard to take responsibility for anything. Even though you show
great potential as a leader of a small 3rd world country, the choices are all made ahead
of time. You're rather fond of games involving string. Your fear of nuclear weaponry is
trumped only by your fear of ice.

Or, if I change one of my answers from odd to even...

You're The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!

by Douglas Adams

Considered by many to be one of the funniest people around, you are
quite an entertainer. You've also traveled to the far reaches of what you deem possible,
often confused and unsure of yourself. Life continues to jostle you around like a marble,
but it's shown you so much of the world that you don't care. Wacky adventures continue to
lie ahead. Your favorite number is 42.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Via Jason

Ha! Ha, ha ha!

I wonder what that Buffalo Blogger thinks about this search that brought someone to ABOHO.

Check Back in About Eight Years...

Well, nothing went my way for the transit yesterday. Monday I called the company that was sending the filters for my cameras to see if I could get a tracking number and verify that they were on the truck, en-route to my house. I was informed the they had shipped on Wednesday of last week, and per my request were being shipped second day air. Hmmm. Second day air, shipped Wednesday, it is now Monday, no filters. We checked the tracking number. Now the problem becomes apparent. The shipping company (which I will not name, but it rhymes with UPS) misrouted the package. It was in Minneapolis on Thursday night, scanned at about 9:30 pm. The next scan, five hours later, placed my package in Michigan, where it is identified as having been misrouted early Friday morning. It is now about 5 pm Monday night, and the last scan was in Milwaukee. Not looking promising. The package arrived Tuesday afternoon, about ten hours after the transit.

Now I understand that mistakes happen, but the way UPS handled it after it was discovered is unacceptable. Notice that my package mistakenly made it from Minneapolis to Michigan in about five hours, but took four and a half days to purposely make it back? I realize that UPS doesn't deliver on Saturday or Sunday, but still. It seems to me that it should be policy that if a mistake such as this is found, as it was, it should be corrected as quickly as possible. I know that "Brown" does offer next day air, so I know that it would have been possible for the package to be at my house on Monday. Their customer service has yet to offer resolution that I find acceptable. I will be calling again today.

With no filter, I took my binoculars to work with me hoping to view the transit by using the binoculars to project the image into a white surface, similar to the pinhole method. The clouds offered no help. So, even if UPS had come through, I would have been out of luck. But that's not the point.

Maybe I will take some photos next time there is good sunspot activity.

A Walk on the Sun

Ready for tomorrow's transit? Here is everything you need to know. I will be viewing, photographing, and videotaping the event. That is if everything clicks into place. Hopefully the weather and parcel delivery gods will be on my side. Remember when I told you to get ready for the transit? FOUR MONTHS AGO? Well I hope you did as I said, and not as I did. Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited until last week to try and order solar filters for my cameras. Well, no dice, but the company that makes the filters was able to ship some of the raw materials used for the filters. Hopefully it will arrive today, and the skies will be clear tomorrow morning. I will try to get some photos up here within the week (to a year), or if you are in the Twin Cities tune into Five Eyewitness News Morning and you may see some of the video in the 6:30 half hour.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game...

Into baseball a bit more than me? Well Mark has started a new LiveJornal, Stat Ninja, where he will focus specifically on baseball, and more specifically the Royals.

ROCK AND ROLL!!!

A few days ago, ok almost a week, Sean linked this list of Fifty Moments that Shaped Pop History. He posted his thoughts, and solicited comments from others. So, here are my thoughts on the list.

The list starts with Elvis in 1954. However, it is noteworthy that in 1953 (a year after they ditched their country image and changed their moniker from the Sadlemen to the Comets) Bill Haley and Co. recorded the first Rock and Roll song to make the Billboard Top 20. The song was "Crazy Man Crazy" (penned by Haley himself, the same cannot be said for The King). Elvis is an obvious and necessary choice for the list, but Haley deserves a mention in the birth of Rock and Roll.

Jaq mentions "The Day the Music Died." More important, in the shaping of pop music, than the death of Holly and Valens was the INCREDIBLE career of Holly. Made even more incredible by the fact that his recording career lasted about a year and a half. While Haley did it first, Holly was the first to primarily rely on his own material. Buddy Holly was Rock and Roll's first singer/songwriter, and this set the stage, of course, for...

"Ladies and gentlemen, THE BEATLES!" Need something to watch this weekend? Check out the two disk set containing all four appearances by the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. Compare the Fab Four with what was passing for entertainment on US television at the time. You can't.

Sean is right. Forget the Stones. The Who are it. Are you a Mod or a Rocker? Or a Mocker?*

More Beatles. Revolver is often sited as a transformation album, and Sgt. Pepper as a landmark in Rock and Roll history. While the importance of Sgt. Pepper was long overplayed, it seems to be too often dismissed lately. Sgt. Pepper was (and is) important, but Revolver is where its at (it is my favorite pop album, and contains my favorite song, "And Your Bird Can Sing"). And while not full blown psycedellica, Rubber Soul hints at the transformation. "Tomorrow Never Knows" is a masterpiece.

Pet Sounds. Overrated.

1969. No mention of Tommy?

Marvin Gaye, "What's Going On?" Gorgeous. I think this is still in my top five non-Beatles pop albums. Hmmmm, I smell another list.

Video Killed the Radio Star. Again Sean is right MTV, good and bad.

Another item that maybe should be listed (from Sean's comments) Run DMC and Aerosmith. This helped move Hip-Hop to the mainstream. Hey Ya!

*The first person to correctly identify the "mocker" reference wins a prize. Dan is not eligible.

I Could Have Just Gone Home and Watched a Movie...

But I didn't. I worked a full eight hour shift yesterday (overtime) and got off at 10:30 p.m.. Krista was out of town, and I didn't feel like just going home and sitting around the house by myself. What to do. Well, I felt like playing some poker, so why not. I headed out to the Card Club at Canterbury Downs. The place was packed, but I had driven out, so I decided to get on the list, hang out and wait for a spot at a table.

At about midnight, I got a spot at a 3-6 hold'em table and started sizing up the competition. This was a much better game than the 2-4 I had played at Canterbury in the past, or as my brother calls it, "no fold'em hold'em.". No getting rivered by some dink that should have folded before the flop. For the first hour or so, things were going OK. I would win a bit here and there, but paying my blinds, and a number of hands that didn't improve on the flop were starting to diminish my funds.

Then it happened. I was in late position, just to the right of the button, and was dealt 8,9 suited. There were many callers, but no raises, and I called. Here comes the flop. 9, 9, Jack. Very nice. Everyone ahead of me checked. By this time I was able to tell what the guy sitting to my left was going to do when the action came to him. He would always have chips in hand if he was going to call or raise. He had chips in hand, so I checked as well. He bet, and this chased a couple of people out, and when the action came to me again, I raised. Right away I was wishing I hadn't. I was sure that I had given my hand away, and that everyone would fold. I should have waited for the turn card, and the higher bets. But everyone still in stayed in. Wow. Now I was worried that there were some pocket pairs out there that were waiting for a third card. Time for the turn. Another 9! I had four of a kind. Everyone checks, and it comes to me. Mr. easy-read to my left has his chips in hand, so I check, and he bets. Two callers, and it is to me. I raise. Easy-read calls, one more caller, and a fold. Down to three of us. Last card, the river. Queen. Doesn't matter, I still have the best possible hand. First guy checks, easy read has his hands on his cards. He won't be betting this time, so I will. He folds. The last player says he wants to see my Jack, and calls. Jack? He thought I had two pair when I check raised. He flips his cards, before I can. He has Queen, Jack. I flip my 8, and he smiles, I flip my 9, and his jaw drops. Nice pot. Just in time too. I would have had to leave if I hadn't won soon.

But that was just the beginning. Three hands later I flopped a full house. Next hand, flopped two pair, that turned into a full house on the turn. Next hand, flopped my third full house in a row. I was able to bet the hell out of that one since no one thought I had great cards for the third hand in a row. Next hand, I flopped a pair of aces that held up to the end. Again bet like crazy.

The rest of the night was a little more even, but the chips kept slowly piling up in front of me. When I left, I had made more in six hours of poker than I did with my eight hours of overtime.

No clue what I just said here? Check this out.

Foo Fighters South of the Border

And I'm not talking Dave Grohl and Co. A group of UFOs were spotted and captured on tape by a Mexican Air Force plane. Seeing the video, it seems clear that this was not some sort of natural phenomenon. The objects were in formation, and at one point came around to surround the plane. They were first picked up by radar, and then on tape when the plane switched on its infrared camera. The objects were not visible to the naked eye.

This sort of sighting that really, really, really piques my interest. Well, all sightings do, but particularly those that are clearly not natural phenomena. What is frustrating is that those are the ones that are never explained. I am still waiting for a better explanation for the Phoenix Lights. The "A-10 Warthog decoy flares" story just doesn't cut it.

Twinkle, Twinkle Little (er, big) Extrasolar Planet

We know that there are planets out there, around other stars. We even know where some of them are. But we have never seen one, or have we...

It Could Give a Guy Tendonitis...

The always interesting and educational John Hardy teaches us how a few different cultures count (and have counted) on their fingers.

Oh How Time Flies.

Well, It was just about one year, one hour, 18 minutes and 11 seconds ago that I succumbed to the incredible pressure. I think I have done a good job of keeping my original promise. What can you expect for the coming year? More of the same. Although I may actually get around to making those changes to the look of it all at some point.

I almost feel bad about this....

Almost. He did all but ask for it...

So, did I do well, or poorly?

Jason continues this meme. Sure, I'll bite. The ones I've read are in bold.

Beowulf
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice
Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Brontë, Charlotte - Jane Eyre
Brontë, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage
Dante - Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby
Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph - Catch 22
Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House
James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible
Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein
Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire - Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son

So, what does all of this say about me? No clue.

That Thing Got A Hemi?

Jason posts about television advertising, and the type of ads he hates. He also mentions the one ad that made a difference in his life. The VW ad that introduced him to the music of Nick Drake. This we have in common.

We also have in common a distaste for the ads that seem to pit us against one another. Husband against wife and child against parent. In addition to those Jason mentions I'll add the Dodge Hemi commercials. Pat, a couple of other friends and I had an e-mail exchange a while back about how much we hate these ads. You know the ones, where the wife likes the Durango because of the DVD player so she doesn't have to pay attention to her kid, and the husband loves the power of the hemi despite the fact he has absolutely no need for it, other than to compensate for what he must be lacking... They scoff at each other behind their backs while talking to their friends. If beer commercials attempt to make you think that beautiful women will fall all over you if you drink their beer, to whom is Dodge selling? People that hope for a loveless marriage? Or are they trying to appeal to those unhappy couples? Yes you too can find common ground in the Durango, it won't help, but it is common ground.

Then there are the J.C. Penny ads with the screaming-mess-making-kids, and the father trying his hardest to ignore them, asking "Where is your Mother?" Well, there is a sale on at J.C. Penny, she's a woman isn't she? This one actually offends me. It should offend everyone. Men can't take care of kids, women can't help but shop, the father is too lazy to try, the mother doesn't give a shit, she's going shopping.

I love great television commercials. Every year Krista and I go to the British Television Advertising Awards at the Walker Arts Center (it isn't the actual presentation of the awards, but they play all of the award winners), and there are still some really great ads being produced. Just not here. It has been a long time since there has been a commercial on American Television that I really liked. There used to be quite a few around the time of the Nick Drake/VW ad. I liked most of the VW ads of that time, and I also liked to Mitsubishi ads that followed. The Mitsubishi ads weren't quite as "deep" as the VW ads, but they had excellent production value, were visually pleasing, and featured some great music. One spot that left me feeling conflicted was the H2 ad that used "Happy Jack" by The Who. There may not be a product that I hate more than the Hummer H2, but I was drawn to the ad. A friend of mine thought that the ad betrayed the spirit of the song, because the H2 is a huge status symbol. It is the car that everyone is supposed to want. This is one of the reasons that I hate the H2, but in the ad it isn't portrayed that way. The "Happy Jack" kid finds his own way to win the race. While this doesn't totally jive with the song (Happy Jack was always happy, no matter what other people did to or thought of him) it isn't a bad message. The problem is that the spirit of the ad doesn't jive with the reality of the H2 either. But the ad is really well done. The song and the story don't quite match, and they they miss the reality what they are selling, but it is well done, I love the song, and I like the spirit of the story of the ad. What can I do.

You Think That's Bad...

Jaquandor has questioned the wisdom of the way I secured my entry for "Image of the Week" while he was on hiatus. I offered my defense in his comments. Now, at least I'm not this guy. I wonder if he is one of the motorists Jaq encountered on his trip to America Jr.

Welcome Back, and Congratulations!

Well, Jaquandor is back from his break, so I guess that means I will need to come up with something of my own for A Blog of His Own. In the meantime, it seems congratulations are in order. I hear Jaq will be handing out cigars...